C'est l'amour et la vie

There are places I remember all my life; though some have changed.Some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain.

Gue sampe di titik dalam hidup gue dimana kalo diri gue di masa lalu ketemu sama diri gue di masa sekarang, diri gue sendiri di masa lalu ga ngenalin diri gue di masa sekarang. Ngerti ga sih? Ga ngerti, ya? It might not be the best opening, but right now, it’s how I’m feeling. Ibaratnya kalo ulet, gue sekarang udah jadi kepompong, kenapa gue ga bilang kupu-kupu, karena gue merasa gue belom sampe di titik itu. Dan mau gue usahain kayak apapun juga, if it’s not my time to blossom, then I won’t bloom.

Semua telah berubah. Pola pikir, attitude towards people, even little things like what I eat and what I do towards the Earth like minimal usage of plastic. Dari yang kecil, sampe ke hal crucial seperti gimana melihat masalah dan cara memecahkannya. Jeleknya adalah, gue menitikberatkan segala masalah gue pada diri gue sendiri. I should have done this, I could have done that, those thoughts make me look like someone who has trouble moving on. Dan itu emang bener. I gotta say, gue bukan orang yang paling hebat dalam hal lupa-melupakan. If some things go wrong, I blame myself. And when I say things have changed, it’s not just physically, it’s emotionally and mentally as well. Susah banget untuk tetap tenang saat masalah berdatangan, tapi itu dia justru yang jadi tantangan. Kadang kita mikir, “Gue ga mungkin jadian sama cowo yang botak.” Eh, ga lama kemudian, malah naksir. Atau, “Gue ga mungkin kerja di bidang itu.” Eh, diberikan kesempatan dan lo mengambilnya. Gue sadar satu hal, that life has a funny way of proving us wrong. Semakin kita ga mau ngelakuin sesuatu, semakin akan dibawa untuk menghadapi semua itu. Nyadar ga sih, kebanyakkan ujian terjadi setelah kita bilang, “Gue ga mungkin…” dilanjuti oleh ‘secret wish’ yang lo ga inginkan terjadi, malah berakhir kejadian beneran sama lo. Lo ga mungkin suka sama orang Chinese? Nanti malah jatuh cinta. Lo ga mungkin lanjutin studi lo di luar negri? Nanti dapet beasiswa. You see, all these things in life are sometimes so unpredictable, but that’s what makes life so wonderfully incredible. It makes me realize: Apa sih yang pasti dalam hidup ini? Dan gue bisa menyimpulkan: Apa sih yang ga mungkin dalam hidup ini?

Dalam hidup dan dalam cinta, ikhlasin semua hal yang di luar kendali kita. Karir itu kayak cinta, banyak yang menjanjikan tapi cuma hati yang bisa buat pilihan. There are times that we may think that we’re not in the right place, but you know what, wherever you are, you’re just in the right place. Karena sebelum kita meminta atau bahkan memikirkannya, semua udah lebih dulu terancang dan terencana.

Long distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.

You can never really know what a person feels like, until you become the person to experience what it feels like. I always thought that distance is easy, that love knows no boundaries, not define by time nor space. I’ve been wrong before and I guess I’m wrong about it now.
Cheating can never be tolerated. My rule is simple: Things that you don’t want your partner to know about is consider as cheating. Unfaithfulness is a sign of loss; loss of respect, loss of hope, loss of love. But when the person you love is just so far away, being occupied with life and so forth, even the communication isn’t gonna help at all, is it? It’s hard enough when two people are distant and still communicating, imagine how almost impossible it is to not communicate at all? And then some people slowly fill the gaps, causing you to fall into temptation, that’s when your love is questioned and tested. It sucks, doesn’t it? To see pictures of him with someone else, smiling; so happy with someone you barely knew. You don’t know what he’s feeling, thinking, doing at the moment. All there is in your head is a big question mark. You can only wish you were there with him right this moment. It is never easy, really… To not hold what is needed to be touch, to not cling on what is needed to be leaned on, to not see what is needed to be felt. Won’t it just be endless? The wondering, the pondering, the hustle and bustle of being miles away from someone you desire to be next to you? But then again, wouldn’t it be worth it though? All the time spent waiting, knowing that he’s all you’ve ever wanted? It might not be silky smooth but then again if they’re the one, you never stop trying. No matter how hard things get. Love does conquer all, even distance at its most difficult level, against the most painful of all devil.